Tuesday, March 4, 2008

i am so b-a-d at blogging...

blogging killed my best friend...

not really, but it could have.

#2: i constantly have music in my head. right now it's "sax and violins" by the talking heads. they don't make a pill for this. last week, it was the birthday song and my birthday's in november.

c. i'm sorry i missed the meeting show people, possible show titles i came up with yesterday before passing out but forgot to write down:

one line paradigm
tertiary conclusions
the real world has IBS

... and i forget the rest. use if you want, hate if you will. the meetings are killing me, but i still love you all.

what is direction?
my heart is in the ocean, my head is in columbus, and my body's in the nati.
i think the hardest thing i've ever had to face is this ultimatum posed by life. i really despise the fact that i must "chose"... chose a pair of shoes, yes. where i want to live, ok. what i want to do, not so much. it changes every day from neurosurgeon, to wholistic medicine, to lotte berk trainer, to teaching, to bulahhhhh:
beluga whale.
now i am going to be singing baby beluga for the next two hours.
oh, no... wait, here comes journey...

but seriously. everyone seems to always have that "friend" who is "the most interesting 40 year old they know and has changed jobs, like, 80 times."
i don't want to be that type of 40.
that type of 20, cool beans, but 20 is going oh so fast. i'm, like, 22... an-cient...

for those of you who know that you're cultivating what drives you, i'm envious and happy. i think it comes down to a willingness to be blindsided by the challenges and mistakes that go along with what one does, and i think i have yet to find such a passion. i think they intentionally put the mac lab in plain site of the old building so that i would be reminded of when this was that passion- memories always seem more sunny to me.

so direction:
gotta get me some of that.
know where it grows?


POWER PLASTIQUE Group Gallery Exhibition said...

I think they put the open computer lab there for that reason too, but then again I don't believe we landed on the moon....The digital darkroom is a nice little haven with privacy, color correcting lights, and nice computers. You should swing by. I'll be there. Well, see ya later.

If you can't cultivate what drives you, accept being a pedestrian for a while. Gentle plodding.


Smitty said...

direction grows in the closet. the place you put the crap you don't want company to see.

My Best Friend said...

Maybe direction can be both decided and a surprise. Like, surprise! Guess where you ended up! Hey, as Kenn Knowlton said, I (and you and all of us) are millenials. Internet-Generation. We're going to do a hundred different things in our life because we have options. Too many, sometimes. Everything is as our fingertips....And hey. I don't even want to work. How's that for direction? I don't want to do anything right now, except live on a farm and milk goats.